Humble Pie

Saturday I decided to venture out and grocery shop all by myself...I guess I needed "alone" time. I hit my usual haunts - Walmart (sorry Micah) and Aldi. In order to stick to my budget, I have to bite the bullet and avoid the temptation of Trader Joe's and Whole Foods more than once a month. I was excited to hit Walmart with a purse-load of coupons and was sure that I was going to do well bargain shopping. When I went to check out, I swiped my debit card only to find that it was DENIED...I guess I should have activated the new one sitting on my counter for the past 3 weeks! I paid with credit card and went happily on my way...until I got to the car. I realized that Aldi is a cash or debit only kind of store and I have an expired debit card and no cash. So, I headed off to the local bank for some cash to finish grocery shopping. When I got to Aldi I loaded up my card with the items from my list and 2 packages of diapers (cheap, I know but they just poop in them!). When the cashier was almost finished scanning my items I realized that I had more food then I had money for. I had to stop her from scanning and ask her to take a few things back out of my cart. I was so embarrassed that others would think that I couldn't afford what I had and was afraid that I had annoyed the cashier by having "eyes bigger than my pocketbook." I humbly paid for my items and went to the car. I immediately called Paul and told him how I was feeling - why was I so embarrassed? I knew that I could afford the groceries but didn't have enough cash to cover the whole cart...but THEY didn't know that. Why did I care so much when I didn't know any of them? I always thought of myself as a person who didn't care what others thought...until now. Somehow, I let my fear of what others may think of me get in the way of the true issue...I had more than I needed and it took an expired debit card to get my attention.

Instead of giving up caffeine (yeah, right!), chocolate or something else utterly delicious for Lent, I made a commitment to myself to give up buying things that aren't of necessity. I never realized how hard it is to pass up the dollar bin at Target until now...for some reason the kids always NEED one more pair of socks or because I have a coupon it makes sense, right? I don't think so. I'm doing well in the "stuff" department, but food is still a tough one for me. I think this week I am going to write down a meal plan for not just dinners, but also breakfasts, lunches and snacks so that I can map out what I really need to buy and stick to it. Who knows, I may even try to cook from scratch!